Toxic Friends

And how to identify them…

Ever noticed how some people just seem to suck the energy out of you? Like, they’re always around, but somehow they make you feel drained, inadequate, or even like you’re the one who’s going crazy? Yeah, that’s not just your imagination. Sometimes, people can be super toxic, and it’s not always obvious. Let’s talk about some behaviors that might indicate someone secretly wants to see you fail.

So, have you got someone in your life who always seems to subtly undermine or dismiss your aspirations? Like, you’re super excited about a new project or goal, and they’re just not having it? They might say something that sounds supportive on the surface, but deep down, they’re just trying to bring you down. That’s not a healthy vibe.

And then there’s the criticism. We’ve all had those friends who just can’t help but point out everything we’re doing wrong. It’s like, yeah, I get it, I’m not perfect. But do you really need to make me feel like I’m a total disaster? Constant criticism can be super damaging, and it’s not something you should just brush off.

Some people also love to bring up comparisons. You know, “Oh, have you seen what so-and-so is doing? They’re killing it!” Like, yeah, I know they are. But what I’m doing is what matters, right? Comparing ourselves to others is just a recipe for disaster.

And what about when you achieve something amazing, and the other person just doesn’t even acknowledge it? Like, you’re bursting with excitement, and they’re just like, “Oh, that’s nice.” No enthusiasm, no congratulations… nothing. It’s like, hello, I just achieved something awesome here!

But you know what’s even worse? When you’re fishing for honest feedback, and they just brush it off with a “Maybe it’s something else.” Like, come on, if I smell like a dumpster, tell me! I’d rather hear it from you than walk around like a stink bomb all day. It’s like, can’t you just be real with me for once? Perhaps gift me a bottle of your favourite perf on my birthday?

And then there are those who make you feel guilty for succeeding. Like, you’re supposed to apologize for being good at something or for reaching your goals. Newsflash: you don’t. You worked hard for it, and you should be proud.

Now, let’s talk about boundaries. Some people just don’t get it. They think that because they’re friends with you, they can just overstep and do whatever they want, whenever they want. No respect for your needs or feelings? That’s not a friend.

And then there’s family – you know, the ones who are supposed to love you unconditionally but somehow manage to make you feel like you’re never good enough. Like, you’re trying to get some validation or advice from your mom, and she’s just being super cryptic or distant. You’re like, “Mom, I’m really struggling with this, you heard how my fiance just shouted me down. Can you just advise me on how to be more assertive?” And she’s all, “Oh, you’ll figure it out.” It’s like, no, Mom, I won’t figure it out. I need you to tell me I’m doing something right for once. I just gave you £1000s in cash and bought you new kitchen appliances, and not even a “thank you, may God replenish your pockets”?!

Gossiping is another major red flag. If someone’s talking about you behind your back, that’s a huge sign that they don’t have your best interests at heart. And let’s be real, if they’re willing to spread rumors or negative talk about you, what’s to stop them from doing it to others?

Lastly, there’s the competitiveness. A little friendly competition can be fun, but when someone’s always trying to one-up you, it’s exhausting. Like, can’t we just celebrate each other’s wins without turning it into a competition?

So, have you encountered someone like this? Recognizing these behaviors can be super helpful in identifying toxic relationships or friendships. It’s time to surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, not bring you down.